I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize