kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
