was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
