girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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