Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
