Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
