I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
