i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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