I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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