dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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