I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
