The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
