Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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