# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
