Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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