At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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