Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
