I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
