I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
