Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
