You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so let's talk penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
