Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
