Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
