I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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