see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
