i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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