wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
