She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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