I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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