well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
