She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
