omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
