So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i came on her dog
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
