Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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