I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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