I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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