I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I skipped work to stalk him.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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