Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
