Please, let me fuck your mom
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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