I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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