I hate all girls vehemently.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
