she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You ate ashes out of my bong
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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