I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
