i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
