worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
