Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
