I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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