Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
