I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
