I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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